Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
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