so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
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