It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
