just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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