My hair reeks of homosexuality.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize