Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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