best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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