trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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