I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
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