I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
