He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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