Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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