Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
