He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
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I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
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Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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