is your mom at the bar?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
