Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
