Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
As shirtless as possible
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
