I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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