11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.