mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
