He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
