so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
