Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
