Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
