you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize