At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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