the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I bet he comes in French.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
