before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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