she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
