How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
