Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
