Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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