3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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