so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
sex in a hospital.. check
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
