ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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