remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
