I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Randomize
