So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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