wrigley field is MILF paradise
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
