I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Randomize
