It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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