I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
