Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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