So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize