6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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