You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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