If i could tip my vagina, i would.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
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