According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
