I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
