Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
