smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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