how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Randomize
