I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
