So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
