Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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