Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
