Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
