clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
